The Lady Scarecrow and His Dolphin
by bgreenwivy
Summary: Iruka is a little bit of a stalker when it comes to Kakashi and is coming to know Kakashi's little secrets very well. Kakashi is a little bit oblivious to his budding love life but when he figures it out he goes for it. *This is not fem Kakashi, Kakashi just likes his beauty products. Call him a metro ninja if you will.* Rate M to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Lady Scarecrow and His Dolphin

Summary: Iruka is a bit obsessed and Kakashi can be a little oblivious.

Author's Notes: This was written for a prompt on one of the kink memes for a Kakashi who is into beauty rituals and such. I tried not to make it too cracky but this thing had a mind of its own. Also I don't have a beta at the moment so this was edited by me. Anyone want to help me edit my backlog of stories that I am trying to finish?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

In the world of Umino Iruka it paid to be both observant and discrete. It was a little know fact that Iruka made it a point to subtly check the health of every single person who turned in their reports. Any visible sign of extreme stress, blood loss or depression was noted. Chakra levels were discretely monitored while emotional state was probed. Sometimes the probing was in the form of polite inquiry, or humorous rapport other times it was tested by sheer volume of Iruka's bellowing.

Being what he affectionately thought of as a by choice lifetime chunnin had its perks. Iruka was respected and humored more often than not when he made suggestions, gave out bribes or outright demanded something. The one glaring exception seemed to come from the glorious barb in his side, Hatake Kakashi.

It was at once Iruka's pleasure and pain to deal with the silver haired jounin. Pleasure because Iruka could be in the same room with him and steal admiring glances. Pain because the man could incite his temper and knew how to do it to. Iruka swore that he would one day take the man over his knee and spank him if not for the fact that, Iruka may not get that far. Kakashi wasn't a jounin by reputation but by fact.

The jounin in question dropped a report off at Iruka's desk without even glancing up from his brightly-colored book. It had been a relatively simple mission, only lasting about a week due to the distance he had to travel, and Kakashi was glad to be home. He felt disgusting, and only really wanted a long bath and then perhaps some pampering afterward. Last he'd heard, Sakura didn't have anything planned…

Good. It was settled, then. After he was done being scrutinized by Umino Iruka and declared healthy enough to pass the chuunin's examination, he'd drop by Sakura's and then they'd head back to his place for dinner and then some teacher-student time. After his bath, of course… and hopefully Gai wouldn't spot them in the street and demand that Kakashi go against him in some random challenge that usually didn't even require any skill.

"Good afternoon, Iruka-san," he said after a long moment, deciding that he'd rather get it over with quickly. "I hope the report is all right? I'd really like to get going."

For a moment, Iruka was caught like a deer in the headlights. Sure Kakashi smelled god awful. Looking at the report and studying it for a moment, Iruka put his hands together and performed a genjutsu release.

"Kai."

When nothing happened Iruka just stared at the report for another couple of moments. He couldn't honestly remember ever getting a report from Kakashi on time and well written on the first try. Realizing that he may be taking it a little too far with his disbelief. Iruka coughed and blushed a bit sheepishly before reading over and stamping the report.

"Everything is in order Kakashi san. Thank you for your hard work." Rubbing his scar, Iruka smiled at Kakashi. "Have a good evening." In the back of his mind, Iruka was making plans to stalk Kakashi. This was either a sign that Kakashi was going to suffer a mental break or the sign of the apocalypse he was sure. Or an intruder had managed to infiltrate the village and pose as Kakashi. Yep that had to be it. This called for investigation and some very discrete favor pulling to figure out what may be going on.

"You, too, Iruka-san," Kakashi said, smiling behind his mask. Perfect. It had taken no time at all to get all of that over with, and though he was a little sad that he wasn't going to push the chuunin's buttons to unleash his temper, Kakashi raised two fingers to his forehead in a salute and poofed out of sight. Once he reappeared outside of the mission office, the jounin put away his book and his smile become more genuine as he stuck his hands in his pockets and made his way toward the home of one Haruno Sakura, his only female student and the only one of her age group to know his little secret. Well, one of the very few who knew at all, even without regarding age.

It took only a few minutes for the Copy-Nin to reach Sakura's house and knock on the door, greeting her mother cheerfully and apologizing for his appearance. The woman, far too used to her daughter's sensei appearing on their doorstep in various states of after-mission-filth, just called for Sakura and told her to hurry.

Of course, Sakura didn't usually dawdle anyway, but Kakashi was really looking forward to that long bath.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Kakashi-sensei. How was the mission?" the teenage girl asked, closing her front door behind her and shouldering a backpack.

"Dirty and tiring," her teacher sighed, shaking his head. "You feel like cooking dinner tonight? I'm going to hop in the bath once we get home."

"Of course! I know just the thing!"

Normally, this was the part where Kakashi would chuckle and loop his arm around his student's shoulders, saying something along the lines of 'Where would I be without you?', but this time, he just nudged her with his elbow and grinned down at her, knowing he was far too filthy and stinky to try much more contact. The duo walked down the street toward Kakashi's apartment in comfortable silence, only broken when Sakura decided to ask more about the details of the mission… or at least what Kakashi was allowed to tell her.

Thanking his lucky stars that his shift had almost been over when Kakashi turned in his report, Iruka quickly exited the Hokage Tower. Through careful snooping and digging into personnel files, Iruka knew where Kakashi lived. It also just happened that Iruka had friends who lived in the same building. Something that Iruka was thankful for if only because it gave him an alibi or a reason to be around.

Contemplating the apartment buildings structure and where he knew Kakashi's apartment was Iruka sent out a brief pulse of chakra. One of the mini tricks his darling students had forced him to acquire in order to always be able to track them down. Not sensing anyone in the immediate vicinity Iruka hid himself at a distance from the building itself but just close enough to see the entrance and windows.

Seeing Kakashi and Sakura approaching, Iruka tilted his head in confusion. He wasn't aware that Kakashi was really close with Sakura. A fine thread of fear went through Iruka's being. Kakashi couldn't be taking advantage of her could he? Forcing his nerves to calm down some, Iruka got into position to observe the happenings. Mentally cursing himself for not bringing in of the standard stakeout equipment, Iruka let chakra go to his ears so he could try to pick up what Sakura and Kakashi were talking about.

"Your mom really doesn't care that you come over all the time?" Kakashi asked after a moment, looking just a little worried. His student just laughed and looped her arm through his, shaking her head at the ridiculous question.

"How many times are you going to ask me that before you realize that she's fine with it? Come on, Kaka-sensei, we have this conversation every time she answers the door. You need to unwind after a mission and who else can you ask?"

The jounin's expression softened back into a smile, and he also shook his head. "You're right. Sorry." They reached the stairs of Kakashi's apartment complex and Kakashi urged his student up while he followed her, He was very protective of his students, Sakura especially, and always took the back of any formation his team was in so he could watch them and make sure nothing happened. Even in their village, Kakashi wasn't sure that someone would drop by and snatch up one of his precious teenagers, so he preferred following them than leading.

Tilting his head, Iruka thought about what he had heard thus far from what parts of the conversation he had heard. Deactivating the chakra from his ears, Iruka contemplated if he wanted to play the fly on the wall. Something about the conversation just sparked his curiosity. Sakura wasn't the type to play fast and loose so the odds of Kakashi's unwinding being something sexual was unlikely. Then the way that Sakura had answered Kakashi's questions made Iruka thoughtful to if this was a ritual of some sort.

Decision made, Iruka waited until the coast was clear before scaling the way of the apartment building and setting himself in position under one of the windows. Careful not to set off anything in the wards Iruka sent chakra to his ears and listened again.

Leaving Sakura in the kitchen, Kakashi headed toward his bathroom, pulling off his shirt before he even cleared the doorway. The teenager, used to it by now, just whistled, and Kakashi laughed. He much preferred the confident girl Sakura was now than the blushing, stammering girl she used to be, when he had first told her his secret. Now, he could walk around his house in just a pair of comfortably worn pajama pants without worrying about her fainting from the sheer amount of blood in her face from blushing.

"I'd say wait at least a half an hour before starting dinner," he called to her from behind the partially-closed bathroom door, dumping the rest of his clothes in a hamper and starting to fill the tub with steamy water. "I plan on enjoying every minute of this!" When Sakura called back an affirmative, he sank into the water with a content sigh, reclining his head and closing his eyes. The hot water felt heavenly to his sore muscles.

Feeling a bit like a peeping tom for what he was about to do, Iruka lifted his head up and did a quick peek through the window. Then blushing wildly he ducked his head back down. Seeing Kakashi surrounded by pink bubbles seemingly luxuriating in his tub made Iruka feel a bit dizzy. Particularly since the man appeared to have a slew of beauty products resting on his bathroom shelves. Not sure what to make of this all, Iruka retreated back to higher ground so he could think. He currently didn't want another visual. Heaven forbid, he saw something that caused him to pass out from a nosebleed.

Leaning against one of the adjacent buildings Iruka tried to figure out what it all meant. In his life Iruka had never seen someone with so many beauty products. Most of the women he had dated hadn't had nearly as many. Thinking on it maybe Kakashi just liked to be pampered. He was one of the strongest ninja in the Fire Country and went on some of the most dangerous missions imaginable. He deserved pampering. Biting his lip, Iruka found himself now more curious than ever about Kakashi. What else did he do? Were there other rituals that he partook in. Iruka knew for a fact that Kakashi only spent an hour a day at most at the memorial stone. Normally he was three hours late. So were those other two hours devoted to maintenance of a different sort? Shaking himself, Iruka realized that a chunk of time had passed and he slowly crept back to the apartment.

By then, Kakashi had dragged himself from the water and turned on his showerhead, washing the mission filth off thoroughly, before toweling off and wrapping one towel around his waist while another was draped around his shoulders. He wandered from the bathroom to his bedroom, rubbing half heartedly at his hair in an attempt to dry it without having to break out the blow-dryer.

"Sensei, food's almost ready!" Sakura called, and Kakashi blinked in surprise. He'd honestly forgotten she was there, what with his very relaxing soak in the tub. After yelling back an answer, Kakashi pulled on a pair of pajama pants and dropped both towels into his hamper, promising himself that he'd do laundry in the morning. He glanced at himself in the mirror once before nodding and heading back to the kitchen, inhaling deeply.

"Smells amazing as always, Sakura-chan," he said warmly, smiling at her and peering over her shoulder at what was on the stove.

Smelling whatever Sakura had cooked had Iruka's stomach rumbling. Idly he looked around the bathroom and noted that some containers were almost empty while others looked to have only been used once. Taking out a pen and paper, Iruka noted that Kakashi seemed to favor vanilla butter and more soothing scent combinations like mint and lavender. Nature smells as opposed to chemical smells. Those products looked to be the most used. Everything appeared to be meticulously organized.

After he had finished cataloguing Iruka shifted over to the living room window and luckily he could hear clearly the talk going on. An added bonus was he was hidden by a tree. Taking a bit of time to rest, Iruka soon found himself blushing as he listened to what could only be called girl talk. A quick glance over the window sill showed the two ninja having finished dinner and lounging. Kakashi had created a clone who was cleaning up the dishes.

On the coffee table sat what looked to be a complete manicure station. Feeling a little poleaxed Iruka just vowed to listen a little longer and then he would leave. The conversation then turned to men. Iruka decided that he was going to hear this entire conversation if it killed him.

Kakashi chuckled as Sakura recounted the tales of her various dates with her age group, each one making his smile grow more and more. Sai was still dealing with his new knowledge of emotions, but dating was clearly out of his range. Sure, the nice restaurant had been a good idea, but everything had gone downhill afterward. Shikamaru was far too lazy and unmotivated to even make plans, Chouji far too shy and quiet, and.. Kakashi nearly burst out laughing when Sakura mentioned her disastrous date with Kiba. 'Poor girl!' he thought, shaking his head.

"You need a real man, Sakura. Not these boys you've been dating. Come on, surely you've got your eye on someone older?" he asked slyly, winking at his young friend.

"Please, so you can go try to convince them to take me out? Don't even think about it, Sensei."

"Come on, Izumo was nice! You shouldn't have turned him down, you know. Now Gen's thinking about moving in on you."

Sakura put up her hands, shaking them in a 'no way' gesture. "Genma's all yours!"

Mentally Iruka shrieked, 'Izumo and Sakura! Anyone could tell that wasn't going to work. Wait what the hell did she mean Genma?' Tilting his head a bit, Iruka willed himself into contention. Surely he would get brought up. 'Oh please be willing to date a chuunin. I give good massages and would spoil you rotten.' It was at this point Iruka realized that he was more than likely going to have to make himself stand out more to get himself in contention. Belatedly he heard Sakura talking about the ideal guy and asking Kakashi about his preference.

The jounin hummed thoughtfully, scratching idly at his chin. "I dunno, Sakura. I guess… someone I can count on, and trust. But I love my space, you know that. Which eliminates Gai instantly, and don't you dare say you weren't thinking it." He shot the girl a glare when she giggled sheepishly. "It's hard to think about this when you're having weird thoughts about me and Gai. Just… no. Haven't you figured out by now that all jounin are basically crazy in some way? I don't need another heap of crazy."

"So forget jounin. There's gotta be like a ton of chuunin that want you, right?"

"Please. Most of them are so scared of my reputation that they barely look me in the eye. Only one has a history of actually getting up in my face and yelling at me for being an insufferable asshole, and I'm fairly certain he doesn't like me for that very reason."

Sakura laughed, and nodded. "Yeah, I can't imagine an Iruka-sensei who was scared to yell at idiot jounin for being late and not turning in proper reports. But he's cute, huh?"

"Hearing my precious young student talk about a man at least 10 years her senior is not going to make me happy, Sakura. It's okay if I decide he's good enough for you, but its weird to hear you say stuff like that."

Iruka almost fell off the building. 'I have a chance!' If he weren't in stealth mode right now he would be hopping up and down in joy. Then a sobering thought sent him crashing down to the ground. He realized that if he wanted Kakashi's attention it was going to be an uphill battle all the way. Then the rest of the conversation filtered through his head and Iruka thought to himself. 'Did Kakashi have a problem with him being older than Sakura or did he just not want the competition or was it something else.'

"Then I probably shouldn't tell you about the rumors that he stares at you longingly when he thinks no one is looking." Sakura replied, studying her nails thoughtfully and trying to appear nonchalant. "Besides I don't think Iruka sensei would see me as anything but his student. Now you on the other hand if the rumors are true..."

For a moment, Iruka forgot to breath. 'Damnit. I thought I was discreet about that!' Willing his heart rate to slow down, Iruka listened closely again.

"You do realize that most of the shinobi population thrives on gossip, right?" Kakashi asked with a sigh, reclining his head on the arm of his couch. "Even if the rumors were true, which is very unlikely, it probably just means he wants in my pants." When Sakura stammered and blushed at the image that most likely conjured in her mind, Kakashi just shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "Come on, I'm Hatake Kakashi. Most people want me as a trophy to hang on their arm, not… not as me. And I'm paranoid that anyone I may be interested in is going to be the same way."

He chuckled somberly. "I have you and Gen, and I'm fine with that. Sure, Gen doesn't pamper me quite like you do, but he's good for other things. Like that night at the bar, when he tossed out that handsy guy? Sweetest thing anyone ever did for me."

"What's your point, Sensei?"

"I don't trust people, Sakura. There are very few exceptions, and I'm not going to make the mistake of trusting the wrong person now."

"Hhhmmm so you don't trust the man that is Naruto's surrogate dad?" Sakura mused and shrugged. "I can't imagine Iruka sensei being untrustworthy but to each their own." Shrugging Sakura considered Genma for a few minutes before commenting with a sudden burst of insight. "Sensei, why do you turn in your reports the way you do if you don't want Iruka to pay you attention?"

Meanwhile Iruka was making a list of what he needed to do and examined his reasonings. He really liked Kakashi and it more had to do with observations than the actual first impression. Underneath the underneath was exactly how one went about reading Kakashi.

Behind his book, Kakashi had a screen to observe everything without seemingly paying attention. His slouching posture could be turned into a fighting stance seconds before others with better posture could. The ever present mask was part way to hide and part ingenious disguise because when it was removed few knew what Kakashi looked like. What better way to hide? If someone was always looking for a select trait to find you, removing it made you even harder to locate. Thinking fondly of when Naruto removed his orange jumpsuit in order to effectively hide from people.

Stopping his analysis and planning for a moment, Iruka tuned back into the conversation again. He always wondered why Kakashi turned in his reports the way he did and now he would finally have an answer.

Kakashi just laughed, glancing up at her. "Would you believe me at all if I say he's absolutely adorable when he's furious?" He laughed again, probably at the expression on his student's face. "Have you ever known me for pushing someone's buttons just to piss them off? No? Because I don't. Usually it's to benefit me… and having a chuunin academy teacher yell at you is quite amusing. Besides, it makes me feel like I'm just a normal guy, instead of this oh-so-scary legend, because I'm getting scolded like a child in the academy. Talk about a great feeling."

He sat up and ran a hand through his hair, mostly to get the still-damp silver strands out of his eyes. "You only yell at me for being late because you know the man under the mask. Same with mine and Genma's friendship. But Iruka barely speaks to me outside of the mission room, and he treats me the same way you two do. It's exhilarating."

"Spoken like someone who has never gotten really scolded by Iruka sensei or seen 'that' jutsu." Shaking her head and shivering slightly Sakura smiled. "You should see him scalding shisou. It is hysterical. He once set it up so that all of her sake tasted like ink until she got back on top of her paperwork. No one could figure out how he did it."

Blushing heavily Iruka realized it was nice to be appreciated. Thinking back to the trick he had pulled with the sake, Iruka grimaced. Shizune had more than once tried to get him to do the same trick to get the Hokage caught up on her paperwork but Iruka had cut a deal. Tsunade never gave him grief about the fact that he oogled Kakashi regularly and Iruka didn't mess with her sake supply.

"I wonder what Iruka sensei would be like in bed with that hot temper of his?" Sakura mused. "Not that I won't admit to wondering the same thing about Naruto but Neji pretty much confirmed that Naruto turns into a wrathful sex god when angry. Do you think it is genetic?" Grinning slightly Sakura stuck her tongue between her teeth before giggling.

Iruka fell off the wall and just managed to land on his feet. Glancing around quickly, Iruka shuttled back up the wall determined to hear what the response was.

"That all pranksters are the best people to sleep with when they're pissed? We'd have to test that theory, Sakura," Kakashi said, laughing harder. He didn't truly want to think about what the both of them were talking about, mostly because he didn't want to imagine it. He'd already had both a bath and a shower, and he wasn't looking forward to a very cold shower, which would be in his future if he allowed his thoughts to wander in that direction.

"But hey, let's not completely murder my brain with the images of my other precious student having sex. I'm going to start feeling like a pedophile, with you teenagers talking freely about your sex lives and me being… well, me." He shuddered, doing his very best to shake out images of the blonde and the Hyuuga doing unspeakable things to each other.

"I don't know if I tried to test that theory with either of the two most prominent pranksters. Survival would be an issue. I can't see Iruka sensei doing more than patting me on the head. Neji would kill me. It would be over fast. Even if Naruto loves me like a sister." Sakura was holding her stomach and cracking up. "Do you know what Neji said that one time he came out to dinner with everybody but Naruto had a mission. He said everyone should be grateful that he helps work off Naruto's prankster energy are not a pedophile at all just a sexually deprived romantic."

For the first time in a while, Iruka had the feeling that maybe he could get Kakashi's attention after all. If he was a romantic like Sakura suggested then Iruka was going to have to adjust his list of things to do to include a romantic approach. It also sounded like with a little prodding and an introduction to Lee's off duty attire, Sakura may find what it seemed like she wanted.

Like Kakashi's mask and Naruto's orange jumpsuit, Lee's spandex and leg warmers were just another disguise. Iruka himself had almost not recognized the taijutsu specialist while he was out grocery shopping that day. Lee had been casual dressed in cargo shorts, black shinobi sandals and a t-shirt with his hitate around his arm. The bowl cut was mussed as well. If Lee were gay and older it would have been a problem. Luckily for him, Lee and he were now close enough following the run in that Lee and Naruto regular hung out with him in just regular clothes.

"Ugh, what a horrible image! Working off Naruto's prankster energy productively? More like Naruto's corrupted the poor guy into thinking that, because he still tries to prank me!" Kakashi groaned and covered his face in his hands, whimpering for good measure. It was part acting, part truth, and part 'she did not just call me a sexually deprived romantic'. "I'm never going to be able to face Neji again! And certainly not Gai, oh no, now that I've got the image of one of his students in my head with one of mine, going at it like rabbits! Ugh, no, image!"

But then, Kakashi's head shot up, and he fixed his student with a glare cold enough to freeze fire. "If I hear you're going out and doing things before I approve of your partner, he isn't going to last long," he said warningly, but Sakura just brushed it off and laughed. The threat was an old one, and she always promised that her potential partner would pass Kakashi's Tests of Approval before anything could go down in the physical department.

"You're still my precious student, and he's got to prove that he's good enough for you. No exceptions. I am your teacher, and my word is law," she said, giggling, just as he opened his mouth to say the exact same thing.

Iruka couldn't help but giggle. It sounded ridiculous but it was a totally Kakashi rule. Three parts hard ass with one part good intentions. Having no doubt that Lee would pass the test with flying colors, Iruka mentally categorized what he needed to get done in order to be effective with his plans.

Deciding for the moment to chose the role of secret admirer for Kakashi while working his way into Sakura's good graces. Setting her up with Lee would take some finagling but all she had to convince her of was that Lee didn't act the way he did in public in private. A few examples may work wonders. Not to mention bribery. Yep Iruka could bribe with the best of them.

"The same applies for you. Any man after you is going to face a strident approval process." Flipping her hair over her shoulder Sakura smiled. "They also have to be able to beat Naruto and I in a spar. We can't have you not being challenged regularly. You need a manly man of a sort."

"Fine. It's a deal." He held out his hand, waiting until the pink-haired girl shook it firmly before he chuckled and sank back into the couch. "While we're on the subject, let's never talk about Naruto and Neji's sex life ever again… or yours, when you find that guy you feel like sleeping with. I do not need those images in my brain."

After all, he gave his students the same courtesy, never mentioning any sexcapades or even any partners to them… well, not until Sakura had blatantly asked about his and Genma's 'friendship'. It had been awkward enough, just knowing that his young, impressionable pupil had guessed that something else was going on, but having to explain that there was nothing but friendship between the two despite them sleeping together on occasion? Oh dear lord, Kakashi still cringed when thinking about that conversation, even though he and Genma had agreed that they were now just friends, with no benefits involved. It freed both of them up in case one found an actual significant other.

"You're thinking about you and Genma again, aren't you?"

"There's nothing there anymore!" he said quickly, holding his hands up in a defensive gesture.

"But Naruto and Neji's sex life hilarious!" Sakura argued grinning teasingly. "Hinata pops popcorn and watches occasionally. Oh fine no Naruto/Neji sex life and I will keep mine under wraps unless I need advice."

"Oh I know you and Genma are kaput. He and Raidou had been dancing around each other. The gossip goes that Iruka sensei got so irritated with the way the two acted he locked them in a sealed closet until they worked out their feelings." Sakura couldn't help laughing at the memory. "Unfortunately for them it was a closet where they could clearly be heard. Luckily for them Iruka smacked a silencing seal on the door once it became apparent that they were working things out."

Grinning despite himself Iruka had to admit that it was one of his better ideas. Though he ended up sparring with Raidou later to make it up to the man who had been embarrassed. Iruka's ribs had been bruised for weeks and still ached with it rained sometimes. Though he had been satisfied that he had proven he could hold his own with a naginata.

Kakashi hmmed thoughtfully. "Genma's lucky to have a guy like Raidou. He needed someone like that, and I couldn't offer it." A warm smile spread over his face at the thought of one of his closest friends finding someone who made him happy… who Kakashi was positive he could trust with Genma's heart. If not… well, Kakashi and Gai made for wonderful bodyguards, and few had been brave enough to fight the two jounin while they were angry enough.

"As much as I loathe bringing it up, just because he's him… what do you think about Gai? Surely there's been some rumors going around about him lately… even I've noticed that people have been looking at him more strangely than usual, and I know far better than to just ask him. What are the gossip vines growing lately about my Eternal Rival?"

Dimpling Sakura stood up and dance crazily for a minute seeming to release a lot of energy. "Oh you won't believe it when I tell you." Flopping back on the couch, Sakura leaned forward conspiringly.

"He is reportedly been seeing both Anko AND Ibiki!" Smiling widely and nodding.

"Apparently Anko and Ibiki were both in a horrible mood and insulted Gai well you know his temper." Grinning despite herself Sakura continued. "He thought they were so un youthful he..." Then Sakura collapsed into uncontrollable giggles. "Gai tied them both up and spanked them for a traditional punishment. Who knew their was a shibari jutsu I tell you? Afterwards he released them both and you know they wanted payback. Apparently they have all been trying to oneup each other since. No one really would go after Ibiki and Anko normally but well you know Gai is single minded."

"Okay, you've done it. You've successfully broken my brain," Kakashi said weakly, feeling the blood drain from his face at the mere thought of Gai, Anko, and Ibiki. Alone, the three were worrying enough, but together?

"How long has this been going on?" he wondered aloud, staring blankly at his giggling student. "I mean, I know I've been on a mission for the past week, but I feel like I've been gone far longer than 7 days now! Gai's finally gotten ahead of me, having two different lovers, while I'm haven't even got one! I've walked into a messed up Konoha, I'll tell you that right now!"

"Don't worry it has only be a couple of weeks that I know of. Though gossip on Anko and Ibiki is generally slow to circulate because of well...you know how they are." Sakura commented thoughtfully. "I am positive your prince charming is going to appear sooner rather than later. At least I hope I get one too. It is no fun not having a boyfriend when everyone else gets to compare notes." Pouting lightly Sakura went back to the task at hand of giving a nice manicure.

Having heard enough, Iruka set off through Konoha. Once he was at home he made a list. Then Iruka went to see Naruto. He knew he needed Naruto's approval first if only because there would be hell to pay otherwise.

"Iruka sensei!" Naruto beamed at Iruka from his doorway before pulling the other man into his apartment. "What are you doing here?"

"Iruka sensei." Neji greeted Iruka politely as he entered.

"Neji-kun I hope I am not interrupting." Iruka smiled at the brunette who gave him a small smile in return.

"Not at all I was just about to make dinner."

"Still trying to get Naruto to eat his vegetables I take it?"

"Iruka sensei!" Bellowing Naruto waved his arms up and down at his sensei frowning.

"Like I was going to cook ramen." Scoffing Neji made his way into the kitchen leaving the two men alone.

"What's up?" Tilting his head, Naruto flopped on the couch and regarded sensei with a raised eyebrow.

"Is there an Icha Icha Paradise book coming out that Kakashi doesn't have yet?" Iruka cut right to the chase and Naruto eyes practically lit up with humor.

Hearing a crash from the kitchen, Neji walked out and stared at Iruka for a moment before looking at Naruto. "I refuse to believe that you didn't put him up to this!"

"Put me up to what?" Iruka remarked curiously.

"Oh I just bet him that you would make a move on Kakashi sensei soon." Naruto wave his hand lightly a Iruka before standing and walking over to his bookshelf. After some shifting around, Naruto pulled out two red books with gold trim.

"This is the special yaoi edition not due out for two more months. It is an advanced copy with illustrations and signed." Holding up the first book for Iruka to see and then the second book he held up for Iruka's inspection. "This is the same one but not signed. Kakashi always gets two copies the ones he reads till they are dog eared and the ones he cherishes."

"What do I owe you?" Iruka tilted his head slightly at Naruto determined for the moment to ignore the fact that he apparently was transparent.

"Don't break his heart. There isn't a whole lot of damage it can take."

Looking into blue eyes Iruka realized that Naruto was deadly serious. "I would be more worried about him breaking mine."

"Then I'll break his legs and drop him in the middle of one of your classes during kunai training." Grinning madly, Naruto gave Iruka a quick hug before kicking him out.

Walking home Iruka mentally braced himself. He was a chuunin and he had a man to win. Now to deliver the merchandise.

It was much, much later that Kakashi climbed from his couch and smiled down at his friend, who had fallen asleep during their movie-watching. As usual, he slid his arms under the girl and took her to his bedroom, laying her down gently and pulling the covers up to her chin, smoothing her pink hair from her face as she slept on. It was an old tradition of theirs; after long missions, Kakashi would unwind with Sakura or Genma, sometimes both, and then Sakura would always get the bed while Kakashi normally grabbed the couch… or, if Genma was there, Kakashi would end up sprawled in the armchair.

He collected his extra pillow and blanket and headed back to the living room, before hearing a curious sound near his front door. With a frown, he dumped his armload onto the couch and went over to the door, feeling with his chakra for someone on the other side. There was nothing… so Kakashi just sighed and glanced back at his dark couch. No, he'd heard something.

Carefully, he pulled open the door and peered outside, almost expecting to find Gai hanging around to issue a challenge or something.

What he didn't expect was the small package at his feet. Kakashi blinked in mild surprise, looking both left and right to see if he could spot anyone that could have left it. It certainly hadn't been a courier ninja… they preferred handing things to the recipient than just sitting them outside the door without even a knock. Well… the least Kakashi could do was take it inside and check it out. He scooped the package up and closed the door behind him, glancing back once more before it clicked shut, and headed for his still-brightly-lit kitchen to place the box on his small table and stare at it blankly for a moment.

Should he open it? Was it even meant for him? Nothing had rattled when he'd picked it up… what could it possibly be? With a long sigh he pulled the box toward him and carefully opened it, not entirely sure it wouldn't explode in his face.

Only when it was completely open and nothing had popped out did he peer inside… at a treasure he certainly wasn't expecting.

His eye widened, and he pulled the two books out carefully, as though they were fragile and would fall apart at the slightest jostle. He… couldn't believe it. The special yaoi edition Icha Icha?! There were illustrations! One was signed! It was like someone knew he'd been waiting for this Icha Icha installment, and knew he always bought two… Well, that could really be anybody in his circle of friends. But why in the middle of the night, with no note or even any interaction? Surely his friends knew that to get him something like this was sure to put him majorly in their debt…

Who would rather drop something like this off at his door instead of handing it to him face-to-face? It was a mystery… and Kakashi was determined to solve it.

Feeling like his heart was beating a mile a minute, Iruka looked at the envelope that held the note he hadn't quite managed to get in the box before he had dashed away from the doorway. Sneaking slowly back to the doorway, Iruka smiled when he saw the box gone before beginning the walk back to his own lonely apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer for All Chapters: I do not own Naruto. **

***Thank you for the wonderful reviews and great response. I decided to update ahead of schedule because I got so many reviews. I don't usually work by the reviews= quicker updates model but since this was already done I figured why not. Also I have already finished this fic so it is just in my review period where I go over everything. **

The following morning Iruka woke up extra early. Note firmly in hand Iruka discretely went to a non Yamanaka floral shop. Purchasing a small fern, Iruka labeled the card with a note reading Mr. Yoi. Then sneaking to Kakashi's apartment, he left the note and the fern at the front door before shuffling away. His smile bright. He could sense Kakashi nearby. So he knew the other man was up.

Not sure how he would take to having a secret admirer, Iruka was very nervous but also very determined. He had finally gotten his nerve up enough to do it and now was the time to follow through. Happy that he had had the foresight to dress in his work out clothes, Iruka started to run laps around the village. He knew he wouldn't ever be in jounin shape but he definitely wanted to at least be at a better fighting shape. Particularly if he went up against Naruto or Sakura in the foreseeable future.

Kakashi glared good-naturedly over his cup of coffee as Sakura ooh'd and aah'd over the fern that Kakashi had found outside his door when he'd gone out to enjoy his first cup of coffee, which was just something he and Gai always did in the morning; Kakashi would drink his coffee, and Gai would be doing his morning workout, and they would just enjoy each others company. That morning, however, Gai had waited for Kakashi to show himself before pointing out that he had a present… and Kakashi had promptly picked up the fern and the note and disappeared back inside, offering no explanation for it.

Gai had begun his workout soon after the door closed, no doubt used to his Eternal Rival doing such things.

So, Kakashi had found himself in his kitchen, leaning on the counter and watching his newly roused student look at the fern. She had burst into giggles when a card was produced, proclaiming that the fern was named Mr. Yoi, and Sakura suggested that they put Mr. Yoi next to Mr. Ukki on Kakashi's windowsill. The Copy Nin hadn't been amused.

"There's a note, too," he said after a moment, tilting his head toward the note. "Figured I'd let you read it so I can ask your opinion on the situation."

"Awwhhhh you have a secret admirer." Sakura giggled lightly reading the note and blushing faintly. "It is so romantic." Clearing her throat Sakura read.

'To Kakashi,

I know it may seem strange to you that someone would get you gifts and call themselves your secret admirer. Mostly it is because I wish to be closer to you but I don't know how to present myself in such a way that you will take me seriously. Knowing that everyone wants you for your reputation or your body or both I figured it would be best to show that I know you or at least want to get to know you as a person better.

The yaoi edition Icha Icha has a surprisingly nice plot. I won't spoil it for you but it is much better than the het version in my humble opinion. Though it isn't something I could ever read in public. You are braver than I in that respect.

Mr. Yoi I got to keep Mr. Ukki company when you go away. As a fern Mr. Yoi is perfectly happy to follow orders and though he has no obvious attributes as defense he is quite good at removing toxins from the air and a common remedy for some of the more nefarious poisons in the ninja world. In short Mr. Yoi is a hardy and steadfast companion.

I look up to Mr. Yoi in that respect. If only because he already gets to have his companion to standby. Hopefully you give me a chance as a express my interest through this courtship.

Your Secret Admirer'

"Alright I demand you figure out who this is immediately. This is too cute." Sakura squealed jumping up and down. "I wonder who it could be?"

Kakashi hmmed, sipping his coffee. "Well, someone who doesn't read Icha Icha in public… which actually doesn't narrow it down at all, seeing as I'm one of the very few who does. Someone who knows about Mr. Ukki, which means they've been in my apartment or knows someone who has… Well, gee, Sakura, with these clues, we'll figure it out in at least an hour," he drawled, sarcasm lacing his voice. It wasn't that he minded having a secret admirer; in fact, it was quite the opposite. He was flattered.

But if there was someone out there who was content to leave notes and gifts at his doorstep, even while Kakashi was at home… Well, Kakashi decided that he was going to start either wearing his mask around the house or pull the curtains closed. Just for his own peace of mind, really. There was a reason he covered his face, and he wasn't about to let a secret admirer get a sneak peek before Kakashi decided he even wanted to pursue whoever it was.

"Oh hush you know you are excited at the prospect." Sakura chuckled. "Though if you think about it. Whoever it is has to have connections to people around you or be able to see you regularly. I will do some gossip digging and let you know what I find out."

Stretching lightly, Sakura smiled. "When I figure out who it is would you like me to tell you or wait until you figure it out?"

"As much as I adore the thrill of the chase, I don't think I can be patient with this sort of thing," Kakashi mused, setting his cup on the counter behind him. "Though I do want the satisfaction of figuring it out. How about, if you figure it out, you can hint at who it is but not straight up tell me?" Without waiting for an answer, he nodded once, firmly, and went to his bedroom to get dressed. Once he'd returned in full jounin attire, he smiled once at Sakura before tugging his mask into place, and waved her toward the door.

"I'll walk you home so you can change clothes and get ready for training, and then we'll meet at the training field in about 4 hours. I'm going to do a bit of digging on my own."

Leaving Mr. Yoi on the table – Kakashi wasn't surprised that he was already calling the fern by the admirer's choice of name – the duo headed down the stairs and off toward Sakura's house, Kakashi waving half heartedly at Gai as they passed.

Despite his uneasiness about the admirer, the Copy Nin wasn't going to let his gifts go to waste, and pulled out his new book, flipping it open and starting on the first page as he escorted Sakura through the market.

When they reached her house, Kakashi ruffled her hair affectionately and walked off, nose still in his book and looking every inch the aloof jounin that the village was used to. With at least four hours to spare, he would drop by the memorial stone for an hour or so and talk to his old team, and then probably start his own morning training in some training ground that wasn't his usual meeting place with his students. After that, of course, he'd go back to his book until he decided that he'd better go to the meeting place and start team training.

All the while thinking about who this secret admirer could possibly be, and why they were fixated on him.

After running himself around the village fifty times, Iruka was sweating profusely and quite sure he needed a shower again before going out to complete his day. The only problem at the moment lay in the fact that Naruto was currently eying him. Leaning over slightly, Iruka tilted his head at Naruto askance.

"Did you want something?" Breathing deeply through his nose, Iruka started to settle himself.

"Let's spar. Anything goes." Giving Iruka a foxy look that he was sure he was reading correctly.

"Why exactly do you want to spar with me?"

"If you intend on pursuing my sensei I need to make sure you have the stamina for it." Blunting shrugging off his jacket and getting into a ready stance Naruto gave a cocky grin.

Cracking his neck, Iruka pulled out his retractable naginata. "Bring it Naruto."

From that point on life was a blur. Ninjutsu were flying, taijutsu was brutal and Iruka thanked all that was holy that Naruto couldn't do genjutsu or it would have been its own special type of hell. Between transforming into clones to hide and place complex genjutsu to smacking Naruto around with his naginata and getting cut by his kunai Iruka was having a good time. Though his shirt was torn to hell.

It was around that time that Kakashi arrived on the scene, having decided to use that particular area in his own morning training that day. When he glanced up from his book, however, Kakashi found himself stunned into stillness. Before him were two other men, one of which was instantly identifiable from that shock of blonde hair, and they were locked in an intense spar. The area around the duo was a little worse for wear, most likely because of whatever ninjutsu they had used, but Kakashi's eye was locked onto the bare, tattooed back of the shinobi facing away from him.

There was something familiar about him, but Kakashi couldn't put his finger on it until a very impressive evasive maneuver revealed the stranger's face. Oh dear lord, that was Umino Iruka! He gaped in a very undignified manner and decided to teleport to his favorite reading tree and watch the spar while remaining out of sight. All sorts of things were running through the jounin's mind. Who had known that Iruka had a tattoo?

No, wait, there were two of them, the one on his back and another one on his chest, over his heart, but Kakashi couldn't make it out from his position. The one on his back was amazingly done, despite even the large scar from a few years ago when Iruka had saved Naruto's life from that psycho Mizuki.

Iruka was one of the last people Kakashi expected to have ink done... so what did that say about how much Kakashi even knew about the man to begin with? He was obviously more than just the academy teacher, mission-desk chuunin that Kakashi saw nearly every day, and that intrigued the Copy Nin more than anything. Like Sakura had pointed out, Iruka was Naruto's surrogate father, and that alone should have made Kakashi try to interact with him more.

"Oh sweet baby Jesus." Sakura breathed walking onto the training grounds and watching what she could only describe as poetry in motion. The spar having reached critical mass. Movements a blur and instinctual moves mixed with careful calculations. Then in a low crack it was over.

Naruto was on the ground panting and Iruka was standing on one of his wrists, blade of the naginata resting lightly under Naruto's chin.

"I yield." Naruto grumpily sighed.

"Good job." Iruka smiled down at the boy he had partially raised before helping him up. "For a minute there I thought for sure I was going to be knocked into the next country. You telegraph quite a bit of your moves though."

"I managed some things without hand seals."

"Yes believe me. The first time I realized that you had managed to switch with my tessen I knew you were going to give me hell." Laughing with sweat pouring down his face, Iruka grinned shaking out his ponytail from its tie he retied it up.

"You owe me a shirt by the way." Smiling at Naruto's grumbling, Iruka waved at Sakura who he noticed gaping at his chest.

"Don't oogle Iruka sensei." Naruto teased Sakura who blushed at him. "It is called a tattoo."

Kakashi remained where he was, though he did take care to clamp down on his chakra. Sakura and Naruto weren't expecting him for another 4 or 5 hours, at least, and he suddenly found no interest in his own morning training… or even in his book. Watching Naruto and Iruka spar had brought to mind his conversation with Sakura the night before… about how his potential lovers had to spar against Sakura and Naruto and win. Looks like Iruka was halfway there, and he wasn't even in the running, as far as Kakashi knew.

Hmm. Maybe he'd have to keep his eye on the chuunin… he was far more interesting now that Kakashi had seen him doing more than thanking other shinobi for their hard work and taking reports… and yelling at Kakashi for not doing his reports right.

Right then, though, Kakashi was content to sit back and watch the show. After all, he wasn't one to pass up the chance of appreciating a good-looking shirtless man, He had time to spare, why not?

"Well you won so you fight Sakura-chan!" Naruto sat up seeming to have made a full recovery.

"Now I am sure Sakura has something else she can do." Iruka waved his hands in front of himself hurriedly.

"Everyone always says that the student must surpass the teacher to show they have grown." Sakura teased pulling on her gloves.

"I am sure that it applies to your current sensei." Iruka scratched the bridge of his nose looking at Sakura warily.

"No I think I prefer to go in order. So it has to be you first Iruka sensei. Don't hold back. I won't." Smiling serenely Sakura exploded at Iruka in a flurry of movement and Iruka swore.

Two hours of hell later and Iruka was ready to give it all up. Sakura had a completely different skill set from Naruto. Finally in a fit of sheer desperation Iruka used a kage bunshin. Set a trap and caught Sakura in it before knocking her out. Falling on the ground panting, Iruka stared at the sky.

"Stick a fork in me. I'm done." Iruka groaned stomach twitching lightly. His bruises had bruises at this point.

"Not bad sensei." Naruto stood over Iruka and helped him up before walking over to Sakura. After a few minutes, Sakura was sitting up blinking at Iruka slowly.

"Why aren't you a jounin?" Sakura asked curiously and Iruka shook his head.

"Not crazy enough." Grinning Iruka shrugged and groaned when his shoulder popped.

"Though apparently crazy enough to fight you both on the same day. What the hell was I thinking?"

Oh dear lord, Kakashi thought, now fully gaping at the trio below him. Beating Naruto wasn't too impressive if you knew how he worked, which Iruka certainly must have known, but beating Sakura, too? Iruka couldn't possibly know about Sakura's requirements for dating Kakashi, could he? Besides, the rumors about Iruka ogling him were surely just that: rumors. It was just coincidence that Iruka had defeated both of Kakashi's students the day after Kakashi and Sakura had talked about the dating rules. Right?

Not that Kakashi would object to dating Iruka. Hell, he'd been with chuunin before; it was just a title, really. The academy teacher had just proved that it didn't necessarily mean skill level, what with sparring against both his students, back to back. With a quick hand seal, Kakashi poofed away from his tree, reappearing about 15 feet away from his students and Iruka.

"Well, nice to see you both warming up for today's training," he said offhandedly, looking bored as he kept his eye focused on the pages of the book. He was earlier than they'd probably expected, as both of his students looked mildly surprised to see him, but he was still at least a half-hour late. He had being late down to an art, these days. "I do hope you didn't wear yourselves out… though I have no problem if you did. It'll just make it interesting." He glanced up for a moment, studying their faces. Sakura smiled knowingly, though Naruto just raised an eyebrow at the book his teacher was carrying.

Finally, Kakashi glanced over at Iruka, feigning surprise. "Iruka-san, I didn't expect to find you here. Was there some test I wasn't aware of that required you to see how far they've come along? I mean, you're welcome to join our training anytime, I just assumed you were a very busy man."

"Haha, Kakashi san. I didn't mean to intrude." Iruka blushed lightly crossing his arms over his chest. "Sparring with different people is always a good way to keep your skills fresh and make sure you work on obvious problems. Otherwise how do you learn."

Rubbing the scar on his nose, Iruka studied Kakashi thoughtfully. "No test at all. Just making sure they were learning something." Grinning at Kakashi in a teasing fashion, Iruka winked. "Learning something besides a million and one reasons someone can be late."

"Iruka sensei don't you have class today?" Naruto inquired tilting his head.

"Nope they have supplementary classes today and I get to grade them." Shuddering Iruka grimaced. "Times like this I wish I could just set up an obstacle course and give them a field practical instead of actual written work. All the book smarts in the world isn't going to help you if you don't have the practical know how."

"Iruka sensei you have no idea how true that is." Sakura agreed having been a prime example of that herself. "You should think about making an obstacle course as part of the final exam. It would definitely help weed out the non committed."

"True. What are your thoughts, Kakashi san?" Raising an eyebrow, Iruka tilted his head and studied Kakashi.

"Well, of course I agree with Sakura," Kakashi said, nodding firmly. "This is a dangerous life we lead, and not being fully committed to completing missions and protecting our comrades and our village can mean death, to ourselves and to those around us. It could save lives if the non-committed were weeded out in the beginning."

He shrugged after a moment, glancing at his two students. "It'd also save a lot of training time if the genin are fully prepared for what their jounin sensei are going to teach them. The only reason these two passed my test and became my students was because they understood the value of teamwork, even if it meant going against direct orders. Neither of them were very good at applying their knowledge in a practical setting… and it took a while to teach them how to do just that."

Wiping the serious expression from his face, Kakashi turned back to Iruka and smiled behind the mask. It felt strange to be speaking to the chuunin in a completely social setting, without the mission desk between them. Not unpleasant, but definitely strange. He could get used to it. "That's just what I think. It's completely up to you. I don't know much about children, certainly not as much as you do, but that's how I see it."

"More than likely they would treat it as a game." Shifting his weight slightly on the spot, Iruka tapped his chin. "Well when the time comes I hope you all know that you have already be pre hired for the mission of assisting me. "So you may want to start researching now. I expect fresh ideas and a willingness to torture the younger generation in an effort to prepare them for real ninja life."

"Why do I get the feeling that I am going to kick myself for agreeing with this idea later?" Asking the rhetorical question, Iruka smiled at Naruto's maturity. Though still occasionally absent, Naruto had come a long way.

"Because you just said you expected a willingness to torture the younger generation," Naruto pointed out, grinning. "And if there's one thing Kakashi-sensei knows how to do, it's torturing little kids in the name of training."

"Oh, come on, Naruto, he never tortured us!" Sakura cut in, though she couldn't help but laugh.

"He's tied me to a stump! He takes pleasure in sparring with me just to point out my mistakes and use them to his advantage… very painfully! Come on, Sakura, he's ruthless!"

Kakashi just chuckled fondly, not denying any of it. "Well, if you dislike my training methods that much, maybe I should start getting Gai to help you? You could use some more bumps on the head, maybe it'd knock some sense into you."

Naruto fell into a shocked silence, gaping at his sensei as though he'd just sprouted another head. Kakashi chuckled again and stowed away his book. "Now, I know after all that, you must be hungry. How about we grab some lunch before official training begins? Iruka-san, you're welcome to join us… maybe you can tell me exactly what they did that enabled you to defeat them?"

"I need to grab a shirt." Iruka started to decline but a Naruto clone appeared with a black tank top. Looking at Naruto with a raised eyebrow, Iruka put the shirt on as the clone dispersed. Looking at Kakashi with a grin, Iruka responded. "I would love to come."

Swatting a grinning Naruto over the head for being a smart ass he continued. "Defeating them is easy. I don't know why you need me to tell you how I did it."

"Ha!" Naruto exclaimed. "You forget when I was little and jiji use to bring me to watch your fights with him and his bo." Launching into a story about Iruka sensei and the Third's 'legendary' spars.

Iruka blushed to his toes before smacking Naruto on the back of the head. "What have I told you about deception being a ninja artform? Hiruzen jisan was holding back I am sure and I hardly ever won."

Wincing Naruto turned and gave Iruka a speaking glance that made Iruka very very worried to what he would say next.

"We should get ramen!" Iruka grabbed at the only thing that he could think of to distract Naruto. At Naruto's torn expression, Iruka struggled to keep a neutral expression. When Naruto's eyes squinted Iruka got nervous.

Kakashi watched the duo with barely contained interest. What had that expression been on Naruto's face? Why on earth had Iruka looked worried? They were two very good questions, and Kakashi decided that he wanted to get the answers to them… and that meant he was going to have to poke and prod and pry, while maintaining his aloof demeanor. Of course, with Sakura's help, it wasn't going to be all that difficult, as long as she remained firmly on Kakashi's side in all this.

Not that he thought she would switch to a different side, or anything. There wasn't even a different side to switch to. Oh well, Kakashi still wanted Sakura as his confidante in all of this secret admirer business, and in pursuing his own interests. Which right now included finding out more about Iruka, and figuring out what he was trying to keep under wraps that Naruto knew so much about.

"Right. Let's go, then, before Ichiraku's gets crowded. They do make the best ramen in the village," he said after a long moment, shoving his hands in his pockets and tilting his head toward the training ground gates. "I'm sure Teuchi-san is missing his best customers already."

For another moment, Naruto studied Iruka seriously before a bright smile stretched across his face. "Fine I will be bribed with ramen but I want an introduction to your tattoo artist!" Leading the way to Ichiraku's Iruka facepalmed in dismay. Shuffling along.

"Why, Naruto why?" Iruka looked heavenward mournfully as Sakura giggled. "Not you too Sakura!"

"I have never seen your tattoos either, sensei. Who knew you had such a collection? Do you have any more?" Sakura teased and Iruka staggered.

"You have been hanging out with Naruto too long. We need to find you someone else to be around regularly surely Shino will work he hardly talks at all." Quickly stepping out of range, Iruka dodged the hit of Sakura and lightly maneuvered around Kakashi as Sakura chased him.

Kakashi felt a warm smile tugging at his lips as he watched his students and Iruka banter back and forth. Normally, he would have stepped toward one side or the other to either assist Sakura in catching Naruto or to hinder the girl, but with Iruka, the jounin just let them go. He wasn't one to get between anyone and their students, and Naruto and Sakura still considered Iruka as a teacher, even if Kakashi was their sensei and team leader.

"I must admit I'm curious, too, Iruka-san," he piped up, his smile growing into a full out grin beneath the mask. "Do you have any more? I didn't even think of you as the sort to have tattoos, so this is an interesting development." Who exactly was the man known as Umino Iruka? Somehow, the mother-hen image didn't work for him in Kakashi's mind anymore. Oh, sure, Iruka was still very much a mother hen, especially when it came to his students, both former and current, but now it was more of a … papa wolf sort of thing.

Kakashi made a note not to get on his bad side where students were concerned. Screw testing out Sakura's theory about hot-tempered pranksters in bed; he had a feeling he wouldn't live long enough to even begin extending the invitation. Now, pushing Iruka's buttons and sparking his temper without bringing kids into the mix… hell yeah.

"Come on, Iruka-sensei, tell us!" Sakura begged in a singsong voice, ducking around Kakashi to get to the chuunin. "I wanna see 'em if you do!"

Paling significantly, Iruka shook his finger at Sakura and Kakashi both. "No I will not show you. What has Kakashi been teaching you?" Throwing his hands up in the air in an exaggerated fashion, Iruka ran off. Sakura followed behind laughing and yelling.

With a sigh, the real Iruka popped up from an alleyway and grinned at Kakashi. "Gotta love how the old clone trick still works no matter how old students get. Remember when they were so short that you could still see the tops of their heads when you smacked them. Ahhh memories." Giving Kakashi a conspiring grin, Iruka put his hands in his pockets. Greeting the different villagers by name as they went along.

"To think that one day Naruto wants to run the village and Sakura wants to run the hospital. The image is terrifying in its plausibility. I do wonder though what the great former sensei of Team 7 will be doing when the time comes?"

He'd end up right back on ANBU duty, and Kakashi knew it. Sure, teaching the brats was fun and all, but he was the Man of a Thousand Jutsu, the Copy Ninja, one of the very few people alive that possessed the Sharingan. He had only been taken off of the active ANBU roster because the Third had decided to dump a genin team on him, and Kakashi would go right back when he had the chance.

"Oh, you know, taking a few missions here and there, having challenges with Gai, showing up to everything late, reading Icha Icha around the village and causing mothers everywhere to increase their dislike of me."

Kakashi shrugged, tilting his head back to glance up at the sky, as he normally did while walking through the village if he didn't have his nose stuck in his books. "I have a feeling life will be a lot different without Naruto and Sakura as my students… you know? They're really something."

"Oh believe me I know." Iruka nudged Kakashi with his shoulder. "They won't let you fade into the black. Who knows they may drop another genin team on you just to make your hair go white." Giggling at that particular mental image, Iruka smiled. "Even though you won't necessarily be directly teaching them you are still their sensei even when you kick them out of the nest so to speak. Them succeeding reflects on how well you teach them what lessons that they needed to learn in life." Feeling contemplative, Iruka smiled privately. "Though they will never know a tenth of what you know they gain their own knowledge."

"Besides if Naruto is the Hokage you get to still make his blood pressure skyrocket by being late or you get to see if he finds a way to make you on time." Chuckling when another mental image assaulted him Iruka continued, " When you inevitably end up in the hospital Sakura will find a way to keep you there until _she _feels you are ready to be let out. Hopefully your skills are still up to par with escaping or you have a willing accomplice."

"It sounds like you're underestimating me, Iruka-san," Kakashi said simply, chuckling. "I avoided taking a genin team for years, and if I did get stuck testing one, I normally failed them. As for getting out of the hospital…" He smirked. "Sakura-chan knows perfectly well that I recuperate better at home, in my own bed, than in the hospital with nurses in and out nearly all the time. And who knows if they'll try to peek under the mask while I'm out? Call me paranoid, but no way."

He shook his head and glanced over at his companion. "And I will always be late, unless something's really worth being on time for. Ever considered the fact that I may just love making dramatic entrances? Really, if I showed up on time, Naruto would declare me an imposter and I'd be taken in for questioning. Being on time isn't worth it."

By then, they had reached the ramen stand, with Sakura and Naruto already there and saving them seats. Kakashi's mind was spinning. He could have sworn Iruka was flirting with him a little back there… but he wasn't sure, because it was so… well, it sounded slightly flirty, but surely the rumors were false, so why would Iruka flirt with him?

And if they were true? Well… then he'd better get the secret admirer business over with soon.

For a moment, Iruka was slightly thrown by the fact that his subtle attempts at flirting had been ignored or brushed aside. Really he was baffled a bit. Kakashi had seemed interested but maybe Iruka was reading too much into things. Though the two of them had held a conversation walking through the village without Kakashi pulling out his book. So on the one hand that was a good sign, on the other hand.

Sensing Sakura's fist coming towards him, Iruka caught it and kissed her knuckles lightly. "Now Sakura chan, why are you so violent towards me today. Don't you love me anymore?" Teasing the pink haired girl into a blush was highly rewarding and Iruka grinned merrily.

"You have to answer my question. You sent me chasing after a clone!" Sakura shook her finger at Iruka and Naruto laughed.

"I can't believe you fell for it!" Naruto laughed.

"You fell for it when we were sparring." Iruka pointed out diplomatically as they began placing their order.

"Come on Iruka sensei," Naruto wheedled. "At least answer one of our questions."

"Fine, you three can each ask one question and I will answer one of the questions of my choice." Iruka responded after some thought.

"All right, Iruka-sensei. Since you wanna play that game..." Naruto said, smirking in such a way that Kakashi was suddenly reminded of the demon fox that resided within the boy. Talk about a predatory look… good thing Neji wasn't around to see it, or the Hyuuga might just drag the blonde off. "Who do you have a crush on?"

"If we're going there, are the rumors floating around true?" Sakura cut in, looking excited. If she could set up her two teachers… that would be amazing!

"I thought this entire conversation started because we were talking about his tattoos," Kakashi said, sounding surprised. "I'm keeping my original one." He glanced back at Iruka and raised a brow. "If you have a third tattoo… where is it?" Oh, he could imagine some answers to that question… and even if Iruka didn't choose to answer Kakashi's question, he was sure he'd be able to find out the answer another way.

For a moment silence reigned and then Iruka burst out laughing. "You mean you finally can ask anything and I mean anything and I have to answer one of your questions and the best you can come up with is..." Clenching the table for support, Iruka laughed helplessly before pulling himself together. "So I only have to answer one question. Now which would be the easiest one or rather who should I answer."

Thinking for a moment and standing Iruka grinned at his dining companions. "After some thought I have decided that it would be prudent to answer Naruto's question if only because he knows the answer already and is just trying to embarrassment I am sure."

"Consider it payback for our spar." Laughing Naruto dug into his ramen while, Iruka toed the ground bashfully.

"I have a crush on Hatake Kakashi." Mumbling his statement, Iruka blushed, coughed and then sat back down. Addressing himself to his ramen and appreciating the silence for a moment before Sakura shrieked.

"I KNEW IT!" Sakura stood up pointing while Naruto laughed into his ramen.

Kakashi nearly choked on the ramen he'd managed to sneak a bite of. He coughed, and Sakura took pity on him and clapped him on the back. When he was finally able to breathe again, he looked up at the chuunin with wide, shocked eyes. So the rumors… they were true? But…

And then there was the point of his secret admirer. Whoever it was, they had written in the note that they certainly didn't want him for his body or his reputation… actually one of the first to do so, besides the ones that were his friends before the brief relationships. And… well, like Kakashi had told Sakura last night, he didn't normally trust people. But he couldn't deny that the chuunin interested him enough to at least give him a chance.

"But… why?" he croaked after a moment, rubbing his throat and willing away the ache that had arrived when he'd nearly died eating ramen. What a horrid way to die, especially for a shinobi. "What could you possibly like about me? I'm… I'm… well, I'm me!"

Giggling, Iruka traced a pattern in the wood of the table before he answered. A blush coloring his cheeks. "You are honest in your own way. Observant, not afraid to be who you are. Stubborn as all get out in your convictions, loyal to those you deem worthy, protective over your precious people and determined. What's not to like? You tend to say what you mean in your own way and you are challenging. There is no easy switch with you and I can appreciate that. Though it does occasionally make me want to wring your neck."

"That doesn't sound like a crush. It sounds like love." Naruto commented wisely. "Not a single comment on his body or his power just personality and the way he is."

"NARUTO!" Iruka bellowed giving Naruto a look of intent that had Naruto downing his ramen and scooting away from the counter.

"Sensei remember your inside voice." Naruto teased.

Sakura meanwhile had stars in her eyes.

"Well… all right then," he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. "I suppose those are good reasons to like someone." He dutifully ignored Naruto's comment because he wasn't sure how to take it. But how to proceed? Ask him to dinner? No, Sakura had cooked for him last night, so he had to return the favor…

"I know!" Sakura exclaimed, snapping out of her daze. "I'm supposed to have dinner with Kakashi-sensei tonight and discuss my training schedule, but I can't because something came up, so Iruka-sensei can go in my place!" She turned big, shiny eyes toward the jounin, who gaped at her. "Come on, Kakashi-sensei, you're going to be cooking anyway, and I can't get out of it tonight!" She turned to Iruka and pulled the same expression. "That way you two can talk and get to know each other! Come on, it's perfect!"

Kakashi sighed, but a chuckle escaped him before he could stop it. "Well… all right. What do you say, Iruka-san? Dinner with me?"

"You know you want to, Sensei!" Naruto whispered loudly.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Iruka regarded his former students and Kakashi for a moment before nodding. "I would like that Kakashi san. Shall I bring anything?"

"Woot! Iruka and Kakashi sitting in a tree...K-I-S-S-I-N-G-" Naruto was abruptly cut off when he was smacked in the back of the head.

"Sakura are you sure you don't have time though?" Tilting his head, Iruka suddenly gasped. "Oh no I owed Lee dinner, too." Shaking his head, Iruka sighed. "Well there is no help for it. If I am taking your place that you can take mine. We had reservations at the Golden Eye restaurant."

"Well I..." Sakura sputtered torn.

"It is just a friendly dinner." Iruka smiled. "Besides you will be one of the privileged few to see Lee out of spandex."

"I will admit that Lee out of spandex has a certain appeal." Scratching his chin and nodding Naruto regarded Sakura thoughtfully. "You are always looking for an opportunity to dress to the nines and this would be it. Not to mention the youth talk tends to rarely make an appearance outside of work."

"Fine, I mean it is only dinner, right?" Sakura agreed thoughtfully. "But what will I wear?"

"Don't look at me. I am male and I can coordinate colors but that is about it." Iruka held his hands up.

"I wear an orange jumpsuit regularly and Neji dresses me for fancy occasions." Naruto put in.

"I know what looks good though!" Naruto and Iruka chimed together laughing.

"Don't worry about bringing anything unless you want to, Iruka-san," Kakashi said thoughtfully, already going through his cooking plans for the night. If Iruka was going to come to Kakashi's house for dinner, then he'd have to go through and stash away his beauty products. Sure, he'd invited the man over, thanks to Sakura 'canceling' on him and subsequently getting an invitation somewhere else for dinner, but Kakashi wasn't exactly ready for his secret to get out just yet. He didn't know Iruka that well, and it'd taken Genma years before Kakashi told him.

"Kakashi-sensei, did you want me to…?"

"No, Sakura-chan, I can clean up my own apartment. You, Naruto, and Iruka-san can figure out what you're going to wear to dinner and then you can send Iruka-san along when you're done."

She pouted at him. Normally they took hours getting her ready for her dates, dressing her up, pampering her… getting ready for anything at Kakashi's was like going to a salon. But she knew that he had to 'clean' and cook on top of that, and didn't have time to bend to her whims. Not like it was a date anyway, she told herself firmly. Just friendly dinner, so Lee wouldn't be alone and Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei could have a nice, romantic dinner.


	3. Chapter 3

Standing on Kakashi's doorstep with a nice bottle of wine and a small box of desserts Iruka felt slightly nervous. Earlier he had dropped off a set of bath salts and scrubs labeling them from Kakashi's admirer. He had also included a small note about how Kakashi had seemed troubled/stressed earlier and may need them to unwind later. Not sure how the gift would be received after this latest development of his crush being revealed. Telling Kakashi that he was the secret admirer was going to have to happen soon but for the time being Iruka wanted to enjoy the moment.

Dressed in a pair of dark wash jeans that were fitted to be just slightly tight around the areas that it mattered. A white tank top under a black button down that Iruka had left partially unbuttoned with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. A necklace with a kunai and shuriken charm hung around his neck. Iruka had settled for having his hair half up and half down. Taking a deep breath Iruka knocked on the door and prepared to do his best on this dinner.

Kakashi had been pointedly ignoring the small box he'd found on his doorstep earlier, not even wanting to open it when he had a date tonight. It sat on his counter, where he'd placed it after discovering it, and the jounin himself was focused fully on cooking. He'd gone for a simple pasta, with some chicken cut into small chunks and stirred in, and just a sprinkling of some seasoning. Genma had often commented that Kakashi's pasta was to die for, so the jounin was hoping Iruka would enjoy it.

After his customary hour-long shower and then the rushed frenzy of hiding away his stash, Kakashi had finally settled on getting dressed. Remembering Sakura's glare when they'd split up earlier, he'd forgone the usual uniform and chose one of his dark navy sleeveless shirts with the attached mask and a comfortable pair of jeans. He'd thought about throwing on a nicer shirt over the navy one, but he really didn't like dressing in layers.

After all, he wasn't even wearing his headband or an eyepatch over his Sharingan, though he kept the eye closed.

At the knock, Kakashi glanced up and turned down the heat on the stove, tugging up his mask and settling it over his nose before he strolled over to the door and opened it. "Ah, Iruka-san. Right on time, I see," he said cheerfully, stepping back and holding open the door. "Please, come in! Dinner's almost ready, so you can make yourself comfortable."

Getting a good look at Kakashi, Iruka did a mental squeal. Smiling Iruka slipped off his shoes before walking into the room. "Not everyone can make a grand entrance like you can Kakashi san." Moving further into the living room, Iruka looked at Kakashi, "I didn't know what you were making so I brought wine and dessert, for if all else failed." Holding up his offerings with a small smile, Iruka waited to be told where to put the items.

Taking his time Iruka studied Kakashi briefly and noted that the man was even more attractive when he wanted to be. It wasn't necessarily the only thing that attracted Iruka but it certainly didn't hurt matters. "Did you need me to help with anything?"

"Ah, you can just put them in the fridge." Kakashi led the way back to the kitchen, and that's when his eye caught the box he'd carelessly left on the counter. Yikes! He didn't know what was in there yet, and he couldn't exactly sneak it off to hide now that Iruka had arrived… He fought back a grimace and turned back to smile at Iruka. "Sorry about the mess, I tend to get… caught up in cooking."

Sure enough, there were ingredients spread over the counter tops, and of course his new book was open beside the stove where he'd been reading a little while waiting on the food to get ready. With a laugh, Kakashi walked over and closed the book, setting it on top of the box so it was out of the way, and then gestured to one of the cabinets. "Ah, if you'd like, the dinnerware is over there. It shouldn't be too long now until food's done, maybe about another five minutes or so."

After putting his items in the fridge, Iruka began the task of setting the table. His mind running a mile a minute as he thought about what it could mean that Kakashi hadn't opened his earlier gift. It could mean he had just been busy. Or it could also mean that he wasn't interested. Though Kakashi had put Mr. Yoi next to what he assumed was Mr. Ukki.

Finishing his tasks, Iruka meandered back in the kitchen and began to quietly clean up some of the items so there wouldn't be as much clean up later. As he worked, Iruka whistled lightly a happy tune. Not wanting to let his previous thoughts intrude on his attempts to have a good time.

"Enjoying your latest book?" Iruka asked mildly having noticed that Kakashi was still stealing glances at it throughout his cooking.

"It has a surprisingly nice plot," Kakashi said offhandedly, shrugging. Even as he said it, he realized that he'd just repeated what his admirer had said about the book in the note. Not that it mattered, because it was true. Normally yaoi didn't have much in the way of plot, but of course Jiraiya had surprised him again. "Maa, how'd you know it's my latest? Been keeping up with my book purchases, sensei?" he teased, turning from the stove to carefully pour the pasta out of the pan into a serving dish.

Once the pan was in the sink and mostly rinsed off, Kakashi lifted the serving dish and went over to the table, setting it down in the middle carefully. "Dinner is served," he said, smiling, pulling out the chair opposite his own. He was the host, so he was going to play the part… and well, if he could say so himself.

"Considering that book isn't technically out yet I would assume that it was your latest. Alas with the great Kakashi san the world may never know." Iruka dimpled at Kakashi before laughing lightly at Kakashi's attempts to seat him.

"Oh no please take a seat, you can start serving and I will get the drinks. Wine generally goes better with pasta or would you prefer the sake?" Shifting back into the kitchen, Iruka brought out the two bottles. Flicking out a small knife. Iruka began to uncork the wine with a slight twist of his wrists bringing it forth. Waving it under his nose, Iruka smiled at the smell.

How'd you know it wasn't out yet? I've never seen you read Icha Icha before," Kakashi said, raising an eyebrow. He couldn't even picture it…

Dutifully, Kakashi began serving the pasta, giving both plates a generous amount. "We'll go with the wine. I haven't had any in who knows how long," he went on, glancing up into the kitchen. "And I didn't think to buy any last time I went shopping. Good thing you brought some, eh?" He looked back down at his admittedly small table and frowned lightly, deciding that he could always leave the pasta on the counter so it wasn't between them and putting their plates so close to the edge.

With that in mind, he carried the dish back into the kitchen, setting it on the counter closest to the table, before returning to his seat.

"Icha Icha is all certain of my acquaintances will talk about." Iruka sighed. "You have no idea how much I want to bellow about it being inappropriate to discuss that in school but the main culprit makes amazing coffee." Going a little dreamy eyed before shaking his head to clear it, Iruka poured the wine before setting down the bottle. Sitting down across from Kakashi he studied the meal with an appreciative eye. "This looks better than I thought it would. No offense but I was fully prepared to eat antacids after eating your cooking." Teasing slightly, Iruka took a bite and moaned in appreciation. "Okay it's official you cook and I'll bake and life will be great."

"Wine and alcohol in general is a hobby of mine." Iruka confessed after taking a sip. "I don't drink often but I have an appreciation for the time and effort that goes into them. Anything that inspires that type of dedication to craft should be savored." Mentally Iruka included Hatake Kakashi on that list and made it a point that he was going to do his damnedest not to let his libido with in spitting distance of Kakashi if he could help it.

"They're good books," Kakashi said, shrugging. They were his favorites, in fact, but he was sure Iruka already knew that, from Naruto if nothing else. "You should pick one up sometime and read it. Sure, some parts are really corny, but the plots are usually very well thought-out and thoroughly researched." With a somewhat nervous chuckle, he fiddled with the edge of his mask and considered the pasta on his plate. It was true that he didn't like to show his face very often to people that didn't know him very well, but… well, he was hungry.

He tugged the mask down, taking a sip of the wine like he'd been planning to do just that the entire time. "Cooking is just a hobby… something I like to do after a long mission. Helps me get back in the groove of living the life of a human instead of a tool, you know? When I first started trying to cook, even Naruto had issues eating it. Ugh, talk about embarrassing." He laughed, feeling his face heat up in an embarrassed flush at the confession.

"But I'm glad you like it. Maybe sometime you can bake for me, return the favor?"

"Where do you think dessert came from?" Iruka teased laughing. "Considering Naruto was my own personal test subject for my initial concoctions I can relate to how bad something has to be for Naruto to have issues with it."

Leaning forward while keeping his eyes neutrally to the side, Iruka whispered. "When I first started baking I messed it up so badly it triggered the kyuubi chakra to destroy it before Naruto even got it into his mouth." Putting his head down, Iruka sighed.

"You want to talk about embarrassing. The Gondaime almost had a stroke she laughed so hard." Shaking his head, Iruka sat up again being polite enough not to look directly at Kakashi's face.

"Baking is an ideal teacher task, I have found though. My baking is some of the best bribery but the biggest curse for when we do bake sale fundraising." Shivering Iruka continued eating. "I would love to bake for you sometime. What do you like?"

"Oh, I eat mostly anything, really." Kakashi tapped the table idly as he thought. "In fact, I'm looking forward to tasting anything you bake… I've heard good things about the bake sales, but usually I'm out of the village when the academy holds one." He'd noticed that Iruka was taking care not to look at his face, which was very surprising. Even Genma and Sakura had taken advantage of seeing his bare face before they'd gotten used to it.

"Iruka-san," he said gently, after watching the man fixate his gaze somewhere off to the side. "It's really all right. I pulled down the mask willingly. If I really cared about you seeing my face, I would have blindfolded you." He laughed it off as though it was a joke, but he had in fact done that to people in the past. Needless to say, they hadn't been too happy, but Kakashi had had rules about hosting dinner at his house.

"I'm actually fairly surprised you aren't trying to memorize it to describe it to Naruto later on. He's still trying his best to damask me, and Sakura's been trying to help him just for laughs."

"Eating almost anything and enjoying it are totally different concepts." Looking at Kakashi's face and smiling gently Iruka continued. "Blindfolds? Outside of the bedroom!" Gasping and clenching at imaginary pearls, Iruka continued his role of affronted sensibilities, "Whatever would the neighbors think?" Snorting Iruka continued to grin. "Surprisingly enough I think the demask Kakashi thing revolves more around his desire to make sure you don't rest on your laurels. I swear half the time he pisses off Sakura or the Godaime or even when he irritated the Third it was more to make sure they hadn't lost a step."

Scratching his chin thoughtfully he sighed and shook his head. "The little bastard played pranks just to make sure everyone stayed in shape. I have to admit the exercise was very effective though."

"So I've heard." Kakashi laughed, shaking his head. "Last time he pulled a prank on me, he ended up running laps around the village with Gai and Lee as an apology for being 'unyouthful'. I didn't even have a hand in it!" He chuckled, taking a bite of his pasta and savoring the taste, glad that he'd lived up to his reputation. "As for the blindfolds… well, I had them lying around." He grinned. "So why not use them? Sure discouraged people from asking for my cooking just to see my face."

He raised his glass and sipped from it. "But isn't this better? No blindfolds, no masks, just two people enjoying a nice dinner and better company."

"Here, Here," Iruka tipped his glass to Kakashi with a grin. "Maybe I should try the blindfold thing with the bake sale volunteering. Somehow it always ends with everyone baking in my house. Surely that would discourage them." After some thought Iruka shook his head. "Nope nevermind that would just be asking for a bigger headache. I think I have a soft spot for people."

Then Iruka was hit with a rush of memories and clenched the table briefly. Dimpling he looked at Kakashi with a mischievous expression. "Shall I tell you the latest gossip or would you prefer to get it directly from the source?" Waggling his eyebrows up and down suggestively Iruka waited for the response.

"Shinobi thrive on gossip, as I always say." Kakashi grinned, leaning forward. "Do tell. I've been out of the loop with the gossip vine lately." Okay, so that wasn't exactly true, but the last rumor he'd heard was about Iruka ogling him in the mission room, and it was from Sakura. And certainly this gossip was about his darling little pink-haired student and her date. He'd meant to set a clone out to watch them, but his clone had instead been more interested in helping him clean the apartment.

"Tell me, how's the date going? Do I need to stalk my rival's protégé and threaten him with bodily harm or is he safe?" He mirrored Iruka's mischievous expression and rubbed his hands together. Of all the boys in Sakura's age group, he had a good feeling about Lee… and that wasn't just because he was nearly a younger Gai and Kakashi trusted Gai with his life… but Lee was still a young man, and Sakura was still his precious student.

"Well dinner went very well and let me just say Sakura killed it in her pumps and mini skirt." Giving a nod of approval, "Lee wore a nice button down and slacks, opened doors, held out chairs and was a total gentlemen. There was blushing, laughter and conversation." Shaking his head ruefully, Iruka continued. "After being such a gentleman for their date they took a walk through the park and well the moment was right."

Blushing a bit because he couldn't even believe his own eyes. "Sakura grabbed Lee by the shirtfront and laid one hell of a kiss on him. At that point my clone got squashed by Naruto's clone who fell out of the tree in what I assume is shock." Putting head in his hands and laughing Iruka grinned. "Before my clone died though it did see Gai, Ibiki and Anko sitting in a tree eating popcorn and dango."

Kakashi nodded approvingly, listening to the update. The gentleman part was expected and very much appreciated, so he'd have to clap Lee on the back for it. But apparently he was the only one who knew about the date who hadn't been spying on them… even Gai and his lovers – ugh, why'd he have to think of that now? – had been watching!

"So I don't have to hurt him because the date was obviously a success, but he's still got to pass my 'Dating Sakura' test. And it's not going to be easy, even for him…" He laughed, already imagining the trials he was going to set up for the boy.

"Oh heaven help us all. The Hatake test of underneath the underneath." Iruka gasped putting his hand to his heart. "Only the strong of heart will survive and prove their eternal youthfullness in all their youth." For a moment Iruka managed a straight face before he began to crack up. "Okay I couldn't speak about youth with a straight face. It is just too much effort. How do they do it all the time anyway? Oh no no thinking about Gai..."

Trailing off Iruka shuddered. "Quick pick another conversation topic."

Kakashi was soon clearing away the dishes and putting them in the sink to clean up later. On the way back to the table he went to the fridge and pulled out the dessert, humming softly as he headed back to Iruka and setting the dessert on the table. The conversation had been kept light, mostly because Kakashi had no idea what to say. He wanted to get to know the chuunin, but what on earth could they talk about other than swapping student stories and cooking/baking mishaps?

Gai was certainly off-limits too, if only to save their sanity. And Kakashi really didn't want to ask how long Iruka had had a crush on him.

"Here we go, the dessert you brought! It does look delicious."

"Looks are only so important after all it is the taste that will determine the dish." Iruka responded bashfully before plating Kakashi's torte and passing it over. Opening a small container with in the box he spooned out some of the vanilla creme and placed the strawberries on top before closing everything up. "Bon appetite."

After the initial first bites, Iruka settle back in his chair and regarded Kakashi with a small smile before asking the question that had be niggling at him. "Kakashi san why did you agree to dinner with me? If I can be so forward as to ask."

Oh wow, this stuff was amazing. Kakashi thanked the heavens above for the torte and only barely stopped himself from digging in, choosing instead to take small bites and still pay attention to his dinner companion. When the question of why was spoken, he laid down his fork and fixed Iruka with a contemplative look.

"Honestly? Because you interest me, Iruka-san. Nobody else has just freely admitted that they have a crush on me, and certainly didn't tell me what they liked about me. Sure, it was usually my body, or my reputation… I came to expect it, almost. So your answer was a very pleasant surprise… especially since I was sure the rumors about you ogling me were false."

There was no other way to think about it but Iruka was sure he blushed to his toes. "I didn't ogle...I studied intensely, I mean observed you with longing...Oh you know what I mean." Popping another piece of torte his mouth, he sighed. "Sorry if it embarrassed you but I wear my heart on my sleeve mostly. I have heard that when confessing to a crush it is often a good idea to be specific and when confessing to a ninja in particular being honest is key. Not to mention after observing others having a go and prior mistakes being opportunistic when necessary never hurts in the pursuit for the person you like. So yeah..." Feeling a bit shy, Iruka coughed. "So any questions for me about anything?"

Well, if he was asking… "How long?" he asked simply, tilting his head. "I will admit I've never thought of you in that way, and people don't generally develop crushes on the people who irritate them and push their buttons just to get a rise out of them. Well, in my own experience, that's how it happens. But you looked underneath the underneath, saw past the aloof, apathetic exterior, and called me out on it in front of my students and the owner of Ichiraku." He chuckled sheepishly. "I must say I'm very interested in the man who likes me for me."

"I guess it started out innocently enough when you became Naruto's sensei." Coughing lightly Iruka took a drink of wine. "Well imagine my shock. The man who I thought of as a pervert being the sensei of the boy I consider family. Working in the mission room I could hear all sorts of things. After listening to the different sides of you from everyone else's opinion I figured I would find out more about you myself. There were too many conflicting reports."

Twiddling his thumbs, Iruka looked at Kakashi for a moment and blushed again. "If this get's out I will deny it ever happened but..." Now Iruka stopped even more embarrassed then before. "I may or may not have taken a leaf out of Hinata Hyuuga's brand of observing. My stealth skills have always been top notch. Watching you play with your dogs, humor Gai and other things made me realize that there may be more to you then I thought." Now Iruka was sure he was now going to stay in a permanent shade of pink for the near future.

"Being a career chuunin isn't anyone's idea of glamour and I hated the fact that everyone else just let you get away with stuff when you are better than that. So I guess me losing my temper and yelling at you about your reports was my way of getting your attention at least a little bit and getting the work handed in so that I wouldn't spend an extra hour after work trying to decipher the damn report."

"So… that's why you actually stand up to me. I've always wondered." Kakashi scratched idly at his jaw, thinking. He was surprised that it had been that long… that had been years ago, right? He vaguely remembered Iruka declaring that his team shouldn't do the Chuunin Exam because they weren't ready just yet, but that had been nothing, and Kakashi had nearly forgotten about it in the excitement of the Sound and Suna invasion.

"I only ever gave you bad reports so you'd yell at me," he admitted after a moment. "It was refreshing to get treated like a normal person instead of this big, bad, famous jounin. Well, by someone who wasn't close to me, I mean. Gai, Genma, even Asuma and Kurenai… they treat me like a normal person, but hell, we grew up together, and we're all crazy jounin anyway. But you… oh, I had no idea what to do that first time you stood up and demanded I do the report over." He chuckled. "But irritating you was fun. So I kept giving you bad ones."

"Oh believe me I know. Imagine my surprise at coming back after being on a mission myself to find out that you had turned in an immaculate report, the first time." Twitching slightly at the memory Iruka sighed. Grinning at Kakashi, Iruka continued, "To this day I have never cleared a mission room as fast as I did. It was the day I created the big head jutsu's evil cousin. Unfortunately it is labelled an kinjutsu." Pouting a bit at Kakashi, Iruka grinned. "You are very lucky you didn't go in the mission room that day."

"Now before I forget I should warn you that just because you cook well and I adore you don't think you can just turn in any old thing and expect me to accept it." Wagging his finger at Kakashi, Iruka took another bite of his torte and sighed happily finishing up the dessert.

"For all every one sees you as the big bad jounin. Do realize that I will go toe to toe with you anytime I think you are wrong. However I will keep those instances private unless you make them public." Tapping his chin, Iruka thought some more. "Also I have a temper, I am ferociously protective and stubborn as hell. Does any of that bother you?"

Kakashi laughed, holding up his hands in a defensive manner. "I will turn in better reports, I promise, but they won't be perfect like yesterday's. I just really wanted to get home and shower, and I rarely have missions that leave me like that." That being said, he turned back to his torte and took a few more bites, nodding as he listened to the rest of Iruka's warning.

"Iruka-san, if any of that bothered me, I wouldn't have stood for it," he said after a moment. "It's common knowledge you have a scary temper, and quite a few jounin take care to give you nice reports so they don't have you glaring at them. Besides that, you're the only one who took Naruto in when he was a child, and I've heard enough stories to know that you'd seriously maim anyone who so much as looked at him wrong. And stubborn? I'm betting that's where Naruto got it from!"

"Got it in one." Iruka sighed before chuckling ruefully. "Heaven help me and do you know how hard it was to get him to eat vegetables! My stubbornness had to get worse to counteract his!" Throwing his hands up in the air Iruka sighed.

"This may be a bit presumptuous of me but I have tickets to this movie showing tomorrow and if you are interested I'll make dessert afterwards."

It was a few months later that Kakashi finally realized he was in over his head. He and Iruka had been seeing each other on a fairly regular basis, spending time together when they found the time between Iruka's teaching and mission desk duty and Kakashi's training, challenges, and missions. That was all well and good; Kakashi was enjoying himself, and even endured Gai's long, flowery, tearful speeches about his Eternal Rival enjoying a Youthful Spring Romance and Sakura's starry eyes every time she came across the two.

Besides that, the gifts from his secret admirer were still coming in, also on a fairly regular basis. Notes were now just signed 'Admirer', which made Kakashi wonder vaguely why they weren't a secret anymore and if they weren't secret, why didn't he know who they were. Sakura had been digging, or so she claimed, and he'd been asking a few well-placed questions here and there without letting on that he had a secret admirer. It was pretty embarrassing for someone to be able to plant a gift in various places for him to find, and Kakashi not sense anyone.

That wasn't even mentioning the threats and warnings he was getting from Iruka's friends and admirers, which he tended to ignore because no, he wasn't planning on hurting the chuunin, and no, it was really none of their business what went on between them. Since they were more or less dancing around the issue of making themselves official, the village still saw them both as fair game, which irritated Kakashi when he saw some fool flirting with Iruka, or had to pry off one of his own admirers when they went out to parties.

But Kakashi was determined to discourage the secret admirer, if only to avoid questions he was sure Iruka would ask if he found out about the mysterious gifts. Since being around Iruka a lot hadn't stopped the flow of gifts, he'd started leaving them where he found them, and only moving them if Iruka was coming over.

For the first time in a long time Iruka was a little apprehensive. He didn't know why he was worried. But he was. The mission he was leaving on had been in the works for a while but Iruka hadn't been the initial person requested for it. The fact that the first two people selected for the mission both came down with a severe case of poisoning the day before did not bode well. The mission was a fairly straightforward one as far a missions went.

The land of Waterfalls was requesting assistance with revamping their ninja academy curriculum. Iruka was the highest authority in the academy available since he was the head teacher. Naruto had been due a vacation and this mission was a form of relaxation for him because he was familiar with the village and they knew him as well. Shino had been selected for the mission because he also needed a break and the mission wasn't stated to be too difficult.

According to the mission standards it only qualified as a B rank mission because of the diplomatic hoops that would need to be leaped through among other complex issues. There was also the fact that in order for Iruka to do his job effectively he had to be above reproach and he could already feel a migraine blooming at the thought.

Knocking on Kakashi's door, Iruka knew he should have sent word but he just wanted to see the other man before he left. He also wanted to see how Kakashi liked the dog tags that had both their information on them. In his mind it was time for them to make it official if only so he could finally knock the hell out of some of Kakashi's more determined admirers.

Kakashi's head shot up, and he had a minor panic attack. He wasn't expecting anyone; his apartment was a mess and his bathroom was still littered with beauty products here and there. He'd been fairly good at keeping them hidden away nearly all the time unless Sakura came over, just because he and Iruka spent quite a lot of time in his apartment and Kakashi didn't feel like rushing to hide everything every time they made plans. He hadn't yet built up the willpower to tell Iruka the secret just yet, but he was working toward it slowly.

"Just a minute!" he called, setting the technique scroll down and leaping up to stash away his things in the bathroom. Being used to it, it didn't take very long before his apartment was enterable, and a few minutes later, he had secured his mask over his face and went back to the door, opening it and peering outside.

"Oh, Iruka! I wasn't expecting you today," he said cheerfully, beaming behind his mask. "Did we have something planned that I completely forgot about? Come on in, I was just reading a few scrolls that Gai let me borrow."

"No it is just I had a mission and I wanted to make sure that things were settled before I left." Iruka toed the ground lightly before walking in. Removing his shoes at the door he went to the couch and sat down. "I know I didn't give you a lot of time to think about it but if we don't get this settled before we leave I will have it on my mind and I don't want the distraction."

Twiddling his fingers a bit, Iruka looked at Kakashi steadily before taking a deep breath. "I understand it is a big step for us but I think it is normal all the things considering. So what do you think?"

Oh, right. The dog tags. They had been the reason that Kakashi had been going over the technique scroll, because he'd been staring at them nearly every minute since Iruka had given them to him. He'd needed the distraction and the scroll had offered just that. So the jounin reached in his pocket and extracted the dog tags, sitting down beside Iruka and staring at the words engraved into them.

"I've been thinking about it ever since you gave them to me, honestly," he said after a moment, chuckling nervously and avoiding Iruka's eyes. "I mean… yeah, it's a huge step, and I'm not really sure I'm ready for it, but…" He looked up, away from the tags, and offered a weak grin. "All right. If you're sure about it, and us, then I'm all for it."

"If you aren't sure then we can wait. You don't trust me with something and I know it must be hard for you. Things you hide aren't often as scary as one would think." Kissing Kakashi on the cheek, Iruka stood up. "You should take a nice hot bath. Light the lavender scented candles I brought you last week, put on a face pack and soak. Relieve some tension and clear your mind. I will be back in two weeks tops and we can talk about the dog tags then. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that." Waving and with a quick wink, Iruka was gone.

The… lavender scented… that he gave him? Kakashi froze, gaping at the chuunin but unable to form words. He had indeed received candles the week before, but they were in a box from his secret admirer… which meant that he'd been seeing the admirer every day since the beginning and had had no clue! What sort of genius jounin was he?

And, though the bath idea sounded divine, Kakashi had far more important things to worry about. He had been so worried about Iruka learning about his secret before he was ready to tell him, and turns out that he'd known about it for months! And all those gifts that Kakashi was quick to hide, to avoid questions… were from him!

Resolutely, Kakashi got to his feet, put the tags back in his pocket, and went in search of Sakura and Genma. Both of them had been puzzling over the admirer's identity alongside Kakashi, and telling them was his first priority. He wandered around the village, asking around for them both, until his search ended when he came upon Lee and Sakura enjoying lunch together. Genma could wait; all Kakashi had to do there was scour the bars later, or find Raidou.

"Sakura, it was Iruka." To anyone else, the statement would seem cryptic, but it was all the jounin could manage in his shock. "This entire time… it was Iruka."

"I take it that you didn't know already?" Lee inquired blinking slowly.

"Lee you knew!" Sakura gasped. Turning to her boyfriend in disbelief.

"Well you told me that the admirer stopped being secret around the time that Iruka sensei and Kakashi started seeing each other. So I assumed that it was just easier for Iruka sensei to give Kakashi san presents and spoil him. Presents he may not accept from Iruka sensei normally." Lee responded thoughtfully.

"Lee you have to tell me these things!" Sakura pouted smacking Lee on the arm.

"My apologies blossom I thought you knew too."

Smiling softly, Sakura sighed. "Well are you okay with this sensei? I mean it must be a lot to handle. It does make sense though. You did say he followed the Hyuuga method of adoration."

"I never understood the Hyuuga method of stalking their intended." Lee mused. "Though with Iruka sensei's stealth skills it shouldn't have been a problem."

"But he's a chuunin and a teacher no less." Sakura murmured.

"Have you ever wondered how Naruto can be the most visible person in the village but still manage to do pranks and not get caught. Highly visible pranks no less." Lee pointed out gently. "Iruka sensei taught him."

Kakashi groaned, his shoulders slumping. Of all people, Lee had figured it out first. "I knew Iruka was very good at stealth and that his skills are actually jounin level… I mean, it's not that hard to figure that much out. But… I just never suspected that he knew, that he was the admirer." He ran a hand through his hair, frowning in thought. Had there been another sign besides the admirer dropping the 'secret' part in notes? He couldn't think of one. Iruka certainly hadn't given him any clues until earlier.

"He went on a mission… won't be back for about two weeks," he said after a long moment, already dreading the next fourteen, Iruka-free days ahead of him. He'd ran into Neji earlier, who had mentioned that Naruto was also off on a mission, same time-frame, so the two were most likely sent off together… which really cut back on a lot of Kakashi's daily plans. Sure, he could still train with Sakura, to keep her on her toes, and he had Gai's challenges, and Genma and Raidou sure liked throwing parties at their shared apartment… and Kakashi knew better than to doubt Iruka and Naruto's abilities, because if he did, then he'd worry the entire time. Worry that he was losing two more precious people to dangerous missions, with him not being able to do a thing about it.

No. Kakashi wasn't going to just sit around and wait for them to get back. He was a jounin, a living legend. He would take missions, short ones that wouldn't have him gone for more than a few days. He would go on about life as he had before.

And when Iruka got back, they were going to sit down and talk about the whole secret admirer business.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your date," he said, straightening back up into his usual slouch. "I'd better get over to Training Ground 5. Today's Tuesday, and Gai's probably waiting for me to make an appearance so he can challenge me during my solo training."

"Oh it is fine. This was very important and you probably needed to tell someone else to get it out of your system before you stew on it for a while." Sakura wave her hand in the air giving her sensei a grin. At her boyfriends groan when Kakashi mentioned visiting Gai, she studied her boyfriend.

When Lee turned green, Sakura frowned at her boyfriend for a minute. "Kakashi sensei, I don't think that is a good idea."

"Gai sensei is otherwise occupied at the moment." Shivering lightly, Lee kissed Sakura quickly. "There we go instant bad image removal."

"Now we have to do that again for my bad image." Sakura giggled.

"But it's Tuesday," Kakashi said, frowning. "Gai knows that Tuesdays are mine. Hell, Ibiki and Anko know Tuesdays are mine, too. We made an agreement after the last time I came across them being… er, occupied."

Knowing that he was making things much worse for the teenagers in front of him, Kakashi quickly shook his head and shut up. He really didn't want to think about his rival doing the things he was so obviously doing, and any distraction would be very welcome. What a day for Iruka to leave on a mission! Well, he could always wash his dogs, if he wasn't going to be challenged today… Kami knew they all needed one.

"Say, how about you two come by my place later? It just turned into Bath Day, and you know the dogs love you, Sakura," he suggested, hoping that getting Sakura's mind on his ninken would take away the bad images of Gai, and this way Kakashi could also get to know Lee a little better.

"Sure." Sakura smiled and nudged Lee who looked thoughtful for a moment.

"I would like that." Lee grinned teeth shining naturally. "I imagine it will be much more involved then washing turtles."

"Yes because nin dogs are faster." Sakura chuckled.

"Turtles have more crevices though." Lee argued as they measured difficulty.

"Lee I win." Poking Lee in the nose lightly the other man shook his head.

"I know, even when you are wrong you are right." Lee retorted.

"Exactly...Hey!" Bursting out laughing Sakura chuckled before putting Lee in a headlock.

"If you still want to spar Neji was looking for a partner earlier." Lee wheezed waving at Kakashi.


End file.
